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One Hand Clapping
Don't let the name fool you, I come here to make some noise.
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September 23, 2002 :::
as
::: posted by Tom at Monday, September 23, 2002
September 22, 2002 :::
It seems that after a long sabatical I've decided to return to the musty ruminations of this old haunt. I don't know if it was the Montecristo #4 smoked over a dull and amateurish text of Organizational Theory or the oddly tremendous spike in hits over the last month that drove me back, but I'm here.
To those that read and continued to re-read thank you. You've furnished my ego.
But I must point out that after this little spot had been created and attracting friends, Romans and countrymen someone else decided to steal the enterprise from beneath me. Yes, another crept along and pilfered my beautiful name. Not only that but on the same free server. onehandclapping.blogspot.com. It is indeed a dark day for internet culture.
On a brighter note, the sun shone today - enough so that I was able to enjoy the afternoon ouside, without socks, a rare occurance in the early fall of Newfoundland.
Enough for the first trip back. Just ample to blow off the dust and find a little rust. I'm still in the neighbourhood.
::: posted by Tom at Sunday, September 22, 2002
May 30, 2002 :::
Why Movies are Too Expensive These Days
or
I'm Turning Into a Crusty Old Man at 21
I don't know about you, but when I go to see a movie in the theatres I feel cheated. Especially bad ones. Even with comfort add ons like theatre seating its fabulous. Now though I must pay $10.25 for a movie, I can't even pass over a ten dollar bill anymore and get change. And with money in the bank now I sometimes feel a little guilt for sneaking in a drink under my coat that cost me $.75 instead of paying the $3 at the movies (this three dollars costs you even more when you consider that its so large as to make you go to the bathroom thrice during the movie).
I know everyone on the mainland is laughing right now. I went to a movie on Welfare Tuesday's in Ottawa last summer and I think it still cost me $12, that's the whole freaking welfare check. You guys really have it tough. But I can still remember back in the day, when the old Empire Theatres was still open and crowded and dirty and with little leg room. Tickets back in the day were only $5.25 or $5.50 and this is only high school, albeit early high school. That puts inflation for the last say 6 years in movies ticket prices at about:
PV=FV(1/(1+r)t)
5.50=10.25(1/(1+r)6)
r=10.9%
Learned that in finance and also learned that that is way, repeat, way over the average inflation rate in the Comsumer Price Index over the last six years which has been at about 1.5 or 2% in Canada. I believe they call this gouging.
But for those of you sympathetic to the theatre owners because they give you your allowance there is good news. Ticket revenues are the smallest portion of profits from moviegoers. Over 80% comes from the gultens at the concession stand, who decide they need a large bag of candy large drink and large popcorn drowned in butter and nacho cheese all for a paltry $15. no wonder they make their employees stand outside the theatre to watch for people bringing in their own food goods. YOU ARE LOWER THAN RENT-A-COPS. And a hint to those of you who practise this. If you are pulled aside and searched for food or beverages and you don't have them (and probably if you do) it is considered false imprisonment according to Russel Crowe, my law prof, and you can sue some asses for it. If you are American (you have my pity) this could be very lucrative, just get them to spill hot coffee on you to, then we'll all get to see employees everywhere with, "Caution may contain hot, pointy or dangerous objects."
To complaining like old folks about new fangled things.
::: posted by Tom at Thursday, May 30, 2002
May 27, 2002 :::
There's no Art hanging in the Federal Cabinet, Anymore
I wonder how Art Eggleton will like it as he makes his way toward the backbenches. If he's lucky he'll get a seat next to newly elected MP John Efford, it'll at least be like trying to talk to the Prime Minister. I know I've told people I wouldn't make fun of his accent because I don't think mainlaners should either, otherwise our national satirists would speak with a bogus Pakistani accent, the funniest accent of all, and playful too. But I can't pass up this chance to let you see the dialogue between Eggie and his new benchmate in the Commons, John H'Efford.
"'Ow is you bye, Eggie, been a while since you've been in the backbenches of H'Ottawwarre?"
"How did this happen to me, I look so much like the deceased Phil Hartman?"
"I knows you've 'ad a rough time h'of it lately with that pwime ministuwre Cretin so I'll give you a h'offer you can't refuse."
"And what would that be, and by the way slow down I can barely understand you. Damn I wish I was minister of Defense again then you'd just be collateral damage when I shipped you out to Afghanistan."
"I won't be no ones cowwaterwal damage. My h'offer is to make cowwaterwal damage h'out of de baby hawp seawls, h'are you h'in?"
"Yeah, sure, as long as I can give my girlfriends cushy jobs."
"H'if they can swing a club they're h'in."
It goes on from there and I'm starting to loss my humour around this. Check out today's National Post for some not so flattering pictures of Jean Cretien, you won't find them online because they're website sucks almost as much as their columnists.
::: posted by Tom at Monday, May 27, 2002
Aboot a Boy (Canadian Remastered Edition)
I saw About a Boy Saturday night and must admit that it was pretty good. Thank Pete that it decided not to be too much of a romantic comedy and instead tried to examine the relationship of a man who does nothing (by the way, Santa's Super Sleigh is perhaps the most annoying song ever) and a 12 year old boy without focusing on the optics of how that would look to the outside world too much.
Going to see the movie was not a decision centered around seeing Hugh Grant or the clever wit of an all British cast or even the cahnce to hear British accents outside my finance class. I wanted to see About a Boy because of High Fidelity, the movie and the book by Nick Hornsby. This was a fabously funny piece of cinema and featured John Cusack at his absolute finest and fit Jack Black into a perfect supporting actor role that left him as annoying but not around enough to really start to grate on your nerves like a joybuzzer raked over chicken wire. But the novel was brilliant, and I wanted to see if Hornsby could carry that over a second novel without having to do all the work of reading that novel right away before I saw the movie.
Well it must have been good bacause I've picked up Hornsby's latest, How to Be Good, though its at the bottom of my to-read stack that is almost prohibitively tall. Bring on the Brits.
::: posted by Tom at Monday, May 27, 2002
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