One Hand Clapping

2002-09-23T18:19:00.000-03:00

2002-09-22T16:05:00.000-03:00

It seems that after a long sabatical I've decided to return to the musty ruminations of this old haunt. I don't know if it was the Montecristo #4 smoked over a dull and amateurish text of Organizational Theory or the oddly tremendous spike in hits over the last month that drove me back, but I'm here.

To those that read and continued to re-read thank you. You've furnished my ego.

But I must point out that after this little spot had been created and attracting friends, Romans and countrymen someone else decided to steal the enterprise from beneath me. Yes, another crept along and pilfered my beautiful name. Not only that but on the same free server. onehandclapping.blogspot.com. It is indeed a dark day for internet culture.

On a brighter note, the sun shone today - enough so that I was able to enjoy the afternoon ouside, without socks, a rare occurance in the early fall of Newfoundland.

Enough for the first trip back. Just ample to blow off the dust and find a little rust. I'm still in the neighbourhood.

2002-05-30T21:15:00.000-03:00

Why Movies are Too Expensive These Days
or
I'm Turning Into a Crusty Old Man at 21

I don't know about you, but when I go to see a movie in the theatres I feel cheated. Especially bad ones. Even with comfort add ons like theatre seating its fabulous. Now though I must pay $10.25 for a movie, I can't even pass over a ten dollar bill anymore and get change. And with money in the bank now I sometimes feel a little guilt for sneaking in a drink under my coat that cost me $.75 instead of paying the $3 at the movies (this three dollars costs you even more when you consider that its so large as to make you go to the bathroom thrice during the movie).

I know everyone on the mainland is laughing right now. I went to a movie on Welfare Tuesday's in Ottawa last summer and I think it still cost me $12, that's the whole freaking welfare check. You guys really have it tough. But I can still remember back in the day, when the old Empire Theatres was still open and crowded and dirty and with little leg room. Tickets back in the day were only $5.25 or $5.50 and this is only high school, albeit early high school. That puts inflation for the last say 6 years in movies ticket prices at about:

PV=FV(1/(1+r)t)
5.50=10.25(1/(1+r)6)
r=10.9%

Learned that in finance and also learned that that is way, repeat, way over the average inflation rate in the Comsumer Price Index over the last six years which has been at about 1.5 or 2% in Canada. I believe they call this gouging.

But for those of you sympathetic to the theatre owners because they give you your allowance there is good news. Ticket revenues are the smallest portion of profits from moviegoers. Over 80% comes from the gultens at the concession stand, who decide they need a large bag of candy large drink and large popcorn drowned in butter and nacho cheese all for a paltry $15. no wonder they make their employees stand outside the theatre to watch for people bringing in their own food goods. YOU ARE LOWER THAN RENT-A-COPS. And a hint to those of you who practise this. If you are pulled aside and searched for food or beverages and you don't have them (and probably if you do) it is considered false imprisonment according to Russel Crowe, my law prof, and you can sue some asses for it. If you are American (you have my pity) this could be very lucrative, just get them to spill hot coffee on you to, then we'll all get to see employees everywhere with, "Caution may contain hot, pointy or dangerous objects."

To complaining like old folks about new fangled things.

2002-05-27T12:56:00.000-03:00

There's no Art hanging in the Federal Cabinet, Anymore

I wonder how Art Eggleton will like it as he makes his way toward the backbenches. If he's lucky he'll get a seat next to newly elected MP John Efford, it'll at least be like trying to talk to the Prime Minister. I know I've told people I wouldn't make fun of his accent because I don't think mainlaners should either, otherwise our national satirists would speak with a bogus Pakistani accent, the funniest accent of all, and playful too. But I can't pass up this chance to let you see the dialogue between Eggie and his new benchmate in the Commons, John H'Efford.

"'Ow is you bye, Eggie, been a while since you've been in the backbenches of H'Ottawwarre?"

"How did this happen to me, I look so much like the deceased Phil Hartman?"

"I knows you've 'ad a rough time h'of it lately with that pwime ministuwre Cretin so I'll give you a h'offer you can't refuse."

"And what would that be, and by the way slow down I can barely understand you. Damn I wish I was minister of Defense again then you'd just be collateral damage when I shipped you out to Afghanistan."

"I won't be no ones cowwaterwal damage. My h'offer is to make cowwaterwal damage h'out of de baby hawp seawls, h'are you h'in?"

"Yeah, sure, as long as I can give my girlfriends cushy jobs."

"H'if they can swing a club they're h'in."

It goes on from there and I'm starting to loss my humour around this. Check out today's National Post for some not so flattering pictures of Jean Cretien, you won't find them online because they're website sucks almost as much as their columnists.

2002-05-27T07:32:00.000-03:00

Aboot a Boy (Canadian Remastered Edition)

I saw About a Boy Saturday night and must admit that it was pretty good. Thank Pete that it decided not to be too much of a romantic comedy and instead tried to examine the relationship of a man who does nothing (by the way, Santa's Super Sleigh is perhaps the most annoying song ever) and a 12 year old boy without focusing on the optics of how that would look to the outside world too much.

Going to see the movie was not a decision centered around seeing Hugh Grant or the clever wit of an all British cast or even the cahnce to hear British accents outside my finance class. I wanted to see About a Boy because of High Fidelity, the movie and the book by Nick Hornsby. This was a fabously funny piece of cinema and featured John Cusack at his absolute finest and fit Jack Black into a perfect supporting actor role that left him as annoying but not around enough to really start to grate on your nerves like a joybuzzer raked over chicken wire. But the novel was brilliant, and I wanted to see if Hornsby could carry that over a second novel without having to do all the work of reading that novel right away before I saw the movie.

Well it must have been good bacause I've picked up Hornsby's latest, How to Be Good, though its at the bottom of my to-read stack that is almost prohibitively tall. Bring on the Brits.

2002-05-25T11:15:00.000-03:00

A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two George Bushes

And we thought we had a free trader in Dubya. Seems he's in the process of trading off the progress made in the areas of tariff free markets and reduction of government subsidies for some good ol' fashioned porkbarreling at home. That is the problem with switching from an administration who had a novel approach to foreign policy or at least an extensive look to international development and shaping the structure of our international institutions to one whose foreign policy seems to be spinning on an axis of incompetence and short sightedness.

In the last month, Bush has placed safeguard tariffs on steel to protect domestic producers and has recently signed a farm-subsidies bill that will place US argicultural subsidies at the maximum allowed under free trade regulations. While many would argue that Canada escaped the first of these due to America playing favourites and exempting its NAFTA partners from the steel tariffs, we were hit much harder, at least on the west coast with softwood lumber tariffs in the fall. These protectionist policies are not conducive to instilling confidence the the longevity of Bush's commitments to free trade in any area. Seems he'll sell out any interest to secure some of the undecided states for the 2004 election (thank God there are only two and a half years left to the next great fiasco).

It's unfortunate that long term international relations and development are being foregone for the short term aspirations of a man who rode his Dad's coattails to the presidency. What we are left with, especially in farming, are industries that can no longer support themselves without government assistance, without an increase in subsidies. The rise in American farm subsidies means a decrease in the global price of farmed goods. In Canada, this means that an already hurting argricultural sector will suffer even more and the cries for subsidies from Ottawa will get even louder. Perhaps two tractors will drive all the way to the capital this summer.

While Canada alone may not have the resources to carry on any kind of meaningful trade war with the Americans over such a trade dispute, the European Union certainly does. You've got to admire the EU strategy that has been laid out to deal with this. they are going to hit exactly the states that Bush is seeking to win over, the Carolinas and Florida. They say no problem, you bring in those subsidies and we'll show you just how much a bottle of Tropicana orange juice can cost.

A real problem still exists beyond the implications of internatioal trade in the agriculture sector. Primary food production is becoming a less and less profitable game to be playing in the Western hemisphere. Even before the Bush increase in subsudies, US levels where significant and the EU levels remain higher than even the new American totals. New solutions need to be found to make agriculture viable beyond the traditional run to the government approach to the game. Otherwise the people who grow the world's food are going to starve.

2002-05-22T21:56:00.000-03:00

Poppy Goes to Ottawa

John Efford is on his way. Before he'd ever gone to the Commons there was already some dust kicked up over his politics. In the mean time, at home Efford is respected as a politician who is perceived as honest and a real constituency man. These are qualities that have been sorely missed in politics of late and may spark a reignition of interest on a local level.

The best possible good that may come out of a bi-election win by the new Liberal MP is that there will finally be some opposition in Ottawa. Efford has already been out-spoken about the policies of the federal Liberals that he disapproves of especially in terms of the fishery and seal hunt. While his accent is what will initially capture the media attention for Efford, it is his dissention as a backbencher that will keep him in the spotlight.

What is also great about Efford's win is that he has a few bones to pick with the provincial Liberals in Canada's Far East, Newfoundland. He fell out of favour with Roger Grimes and has subsequently won himself some public support in a subtle continuation of the dispute and hardfeelings. Made this split will offer a new opportunity to highlight the issues experience by a province with only seven MP's, two of which are PC's and now Efford who might as well be in opposition from the start.

The problem with Efford is that sometimes he plays a little too much to the local crowd. In his first major policy play, Efford has decided to seek re-enstatement of port access for Estonian and other foreign vessels who were banned from Canadian ports due to overfishing on the Grand Banks, just outside Canada's 200 mile limit legal jurisdiction. Local port authorities and businesses who formerly benefitted from visits of these vessels have stirred up the waters on the issue. Efford has picked up on the sentiment and has brought the issue to Fisheries Minister Thibault.

The only problem I see with the problem of removal of port access is that it doesn't go far enough. The policy should be extended to more politically visible and sensitive nations who continue to overfish on the nose and tail of the Grand Banks such as Russia. Action such as this will truly draw national and international attention to the issue and eventually spur some change in the fishing practices, or prompt home nations to enforce NAFO regulations for fishing in international waters. We've seen that brief military tactics don't provide a sustained solution to the problem when the Tobinator initiated and abandoned the Turbot War with Spain. We've also witnessed political lobbying and pressures by Canada to enforce international regulations fail.

By blocking port access you limit the potential for longer trips by these vessels, as well as block access to a 30 million person market for these countries in other areas. By adding higher profile nations to the list of those with port access removed the issue will become visible and politicized. John Efford is running the potential of ending what is potentially the most effective policy move by the feds to protect fish stocks from overfishing since the moratorium in 1992, all to win the political support of rural business people who are feeling a temporary economic pinch.

Just remember though you can't have fun unless you put in the Efford.

2002-05-22T21:18:00.000-03:00

Return to my wasted youth

Check out Home Star Runner. While the humour is junvenille it is good for a chuckle. Check out the interview cartoon, a personal favourite of mine. StongBad is of course by far the best character of the lot, in the same kind of way that MoJo JoJo rocks.

2002-05-21T17:37:00.000-03:00

After all that I got through and it talked only 30 seconds to fix the problem, but now I have to call Visa.

On the upside I got to talk with a French chick (girlfriends better not read this one).

2002-05-21T17:29:00.000-03:00

Stupid Air Canada

I'm trying to talk to an Aeroplan agent on the phone. My wait time is estimated at 25 minutes.

The maximum time a customer should be made to wait on hold is 2-3 minutes (God bless my marketing courses). Something tells me Air Canada is missing the boat on something here.

I'm going to offer a couple of solutions to the problem of me waiting while I wait. Maybe if someone from the Aeroplan program is reading they'll make some of these changes. But first a tip to those of you who just want to book a trip and have not yet been screwed over on your account: book online or go to the Air Canada ticket counter at your nearest airport. They can book you on quickly there and you won't have to wait an estimated 25 minutes.

Solution 1: Hire more operators to speak to people, probably best handled through contracting out to a call centre company that can specializes in providing this service promptly to your customers. This could also provide employment for Newfoundlanders which is quickly becoming a mecca for call centre start-ups. Apparently this has something to do with our corporate tax relief program, willingness to work for lower wages and our evidently friendly accent. Yes, bye.

Solution 2: Advertise as much as possible that the only available operator is Bob Dole and, "Bob Dole doesn't like this job."

Solution 3: Let me fly for free so I won't complain about anything anymore.

Solution 4: Offer discounts or bonus miles to customers who avail of the Aeroplan website.

If anyone else has good ideas in the vien or just wants to yell at Air Canada, just head to thier Aeroplan website.

Still on hold many moons later.

2002-05-20T18:22:00.000-03:00

I've created a monster

Oh, the Oncomouse is a thing of the future. Now don't read that wrong like I did the first time. It is not Economouse, although that would indeed make a much more memorable name for the wee beasty. The Oncomouse is a genetic mismatch between human and mouse that has created a breed of mouse that is very susceptible to cancer. The Supreme Court of Canada is soon going to have to decide whether the developers at Harvard University can own a patent on the technology they developed for crossing the genes of man (and I suppose woman too if you want to get all p.c. about things) and animals.

Animal rights groups are, of course, up in arms over the whole affair - aren't they always. This bunch would like nothing better to lose and establish a precedent that would mean no other similar technologies like this can be patented.

I think if animal rights groups want to be successful in this regard they need to do the adult version of taking the ball and going home. That's right, should develop the technology, patent it and squirrel it away - hide it from the light of day so that no one could use it again. A sly game.

I believe that a failed patent in this instance will be a genuine good for medical research in Canada. While the lawyers for the Harvard team argue that Canada will suffer from trade and credibility problems from failing to follow the lead of the EU and the US in granting the patent, we will effectively be able to provide cheaper research tools (ie Oncomice) to Canadian research facilities than in these foreign competitors. Generic Genetics, Yellow Label Mice, President's Choice Mice.

Personally I don't buy this business of the animal righters who say it is wrong to test on these animals or to genetically modify them in the first place. If we did not run tests and trials on animals, especially in medical circumstances, we would have to move up to the next creature on the scale: animal rights groups, and I don't think they would be very happy about that now would they. The modification of these creatures to make them better test subjects is a natural advance in the medical research field and should be pursued. The genetic keys would not be available if we were not meant to open at least some of the doors.

Of course, from a more centric viewpoint, some restrictions are necessary when delving into this field. While I like chicken wings, the prospect of hens with 8 or 10 of them made extra large for Don Cherry's is not the most appetizing prospect in the world. For now if we limit the development of genetically cross-breed animals to medical research purposes and carefully monitor the progression of the field we should be ok. After all we have to look out for number one.

2002-05-19T19:13:00.000-03:00

The Big Weiner

Well I did it. The allure of $34 million was too much for me. I dished out $5 on tickets (including Tag) for Canada's highest lottery jackpot to date in Friday's Super 7 draw. As you've learned earlier I have a great knowledge of selling these little beasts and scurges of humanity. In my experience it is the people can afford these tickets least that buy them most of all. Their loss in a free market though, tough on ya. This has taught me though that your chances of winning should make you feel about as good as crapping in a bucket.

When I heard that Ontario had audited their sales and discovered none of the four winners had bought their tickets there I was ecstatic. I mean if the winners weren't in the most populus province in the country then I had to be a winner. I was spending the money in my mind already. The BMW Z3 was already in my driveway, no it was a Z8, why cheap out on 20 grand when I've got almost 10 mil.

I confidently strode out on my way to see Episode II: Send in the Clones (Yoda kicks some serious ass) and checked my ticket at the most wreched establishments in Atlantic Canada: Irving. I was not entirely suprised to discover that their system had been overloaded and ticket could not be checked. I can wait, I thought, I'll just pick up my cheque after the movie.

I dropped into Lawton's Drugs on the way to the movie (Jango Fett's got nothing on Bobba) to pick up some snacks to sneak past the price gougers at the theatre. Without much hope, I asked if they could check my ticket at the drug mart. Nope, but they had been wise enough to make photocopies of the winning numbers that morning. So I check manually, just to make sure I could head to Moncton to pocket my cash. I think over the first five plays I had a grand total of 6 matches. Nothing. In the last play I mtched three. Boo-yah, not $34 million, but yes, along with almost 7 million other Canadians I won a free $2 ticket. Nothing on Tag either.

The moral of the story I guess is check out Star Wars. It's good, but you'll leave wanting to have seen more of the Clone War, but looking very much forward to seeing the next one. Also look out for the Matrix trailer. Its the first one they play. The next 12 months are going to be fabulous for guys who like movies. Follow the White Rabbit.

2002-05-17T12:38:00.000-03:00

Subway Walls

I've decided that should I ever become a landlord I will decide whether a potential tenant shall get the apartment based on an interview. Now of course you can't really find out much about a person just from an interview because no one will honestly answer questions like: "Will you leave the day before rent is due without paying?" "Do you intend to get your damage deposit back?" or "Are you a psychonutazoid who will kill your roommates in an argument over a Fluffernutter?"

What I've come up with for a solution is to ask a coded question that will perplex all those who wish to rent. If you'd like to use it feel free. It's: "If you were a whale what kind of whale would you be?" Now of course this question is almost useless without the code explained. Feel free to add to the code or tell me what kind of a whale you are.

Beluga Whale - massive Raffi fan. Unless you want to hear endless renditions of Baby Beluga in the wee hours of the morning avoid this one altogether.

Blue Whale - will grow absolutely massive through the North American sedentary lifestyle and eventually will not be able to get of the couch without the aid of multi-tonne vehicular assistance. Will cause structural damage to apartment or house. Do not rent.

Killer Whale - rental possibility. This is the Fluffernutter murderer. After the murder takes place and the tenent is trundeled off to jail you can rent the apartment or house at a higher rate to rubberneckers who think real life is like the movies. Definitely rent here unless you tend to argue with people over peanutbutter and marshmellow sandwich combinations.

Minke - small and playful. A definite rental possibility.

Humpback - a definite rental candidate. But be careful, the name says it all.

Whale Shark - not a whale at all. This person should be shot on grounds of stupidity. Do not rent. Report to authorities.

Sperm Whale - a risky bet. Could be a messy clean up after rental period. Ensure damage deposit is large enough to make you feel ok about cleaning up their deposit if necessary.

Try it. It can work for you too.

2002-05-15T08:54:00.000-03:00

Yesterday it was announced that a new building would be constructed at the site of the World Trade Center, not at the Twin Towers location, but at 7 World Trade. This hasn't stirred as much controversy as once thought, mostly because the group that approved the site consisted of victim's family members, developers, councillors and more as appointed by the mayor and governor.

The building is going to be quite different from the previous structure. According to the developer it is an effort to open the downtown region and let more light in. The structure is supposed to climb over 700 feet in height, comparable to its predecessor and other buildings in the area, but not even close to the height of Towers 1 & 2. Meanwhile, in an attempt to open the area, the footprint will be much smaller, allowing some traffic - either pedestrian or automotive - where it could not travel before.

What is disappointing is that this building is another skyscrapper. Perhaps the greatest opportunity coming out of the collapse of the towers and surrounding buildings was the chance to reshape the face of a promenent city's skyscape. Follow Rome, have interesting architecture, brilliant facades, statues. Stop the boring glass that towers over us every day. What we need it a rethinking of our city centers. Places that are the peak of commerce can still incorporate a vision of art and beauty beyond Mel Lastman's famous moose in Toronto or the comparable salmon in British Columbia.

The cities of the world are starting to all look the same. The indicental changes to the skyscrapper design don't truly reflect the possiblities of structure design. We've forsaken creativity in these areas for the sake of space maximization. No wonder we pay fortunes for vacations in cities with height restrictions for buildings, where creativity of design is forced on developers.

2002-05-15T08:29:00.000-03:00

Great Game with a Strange Name

Check out what is perhaps the best named site on the internet: Debatabase.org. It's got some very informed and coherently written analyses of issues by competitive university level debaters and coaches. It's also great for research as it can provide you an excellent basis of knowledge, as well as a god host of links and suggested reading material.

2002-05-13T11:39:00.000-03:00

He's Back

According to today's National Post there is a 97% chance the Jesus was actually resurrected. Calculated with actual math, algebra even. Its good to know that the National Post can confirm I'm on the right team on this one. Christians 1 Lions 0.

In equally striking news Jimmy Carter heard I had a good time in Cuba and decided to go himself. I hope he chills on the beach for a bit in between helping protests against Castro and Castro's brother. Personally I hope he starts a band while in Cuba, they have lots of people playing guitar and bongos that he could pick up to fill up the background and for cheap. He could even call it the Jimmy Carter Experience, or Alive Ex-Presidents of the United States of America.

While Carter made some noise about loosening embargoes against Cuba while in office he now gets his real chance. If the States increase their trade with Cuba from almost none to lots then capitalism will start to flourish, which is really all the revolution the people need. Vote with your dollars, a bartender at our resort made $20 a month, plus tips. This is pseudo-socialism for you. Start to trade with Cuba and the minimal private enterprise that exists now on the island will flourish. The US needs to learn that punishing the people does almost nothing to punish the regime, learn from Iraq, learn from 40 years of Castro in Cuba, learn from Ohio.

On the issue of the potential biochemical weapons coming out of Cuba, I don't think we really have to worry too much. Castro's opened the place to Carter to check out the situation. Although I'm pretty sure he couldn't tell the difference between a biochemical weapon and the mold scrapped off his morning grapefruit. The most you have to fear is Cuban exiles in Florida voting for right wing presidential candidates who say they will change nothing of the American policy towards Cuba. This is the most potent weapon Castro has in America.

2002-05-11T11:28:00.000-03:00

MmmmBop

Robert Hanssen was a G-Man, a double G-Man actually. He sold US secrets to the Russians, and on Friday was sentenced to life in prison. He got life in prison instead of death because he co-operated with the prosecution.

The spy game has got soft. Gone are the days when Hanssen would have been "mugged" in a dark alley, or shot responding to an X-File. Instead he gets dragged off to court for what amounts to treason and because he co-operated gets the lesser sentence. Come on people. The US kills everybody, especially with Dubya in the White House. He was pardon-free while governor of Texas. Even Canada still lists the death penalty as the maximum sentence for treason (which would probably be cheering for an American hockey team).

On top of this it has been revealed that Hanssen was a consummate liar. He had four or five personalities that he bandied about and no one was the wiser for it. He pretended to be hardcore religious believer to the point of going to church every morning. He was an FBI agent. He was a double agent who spied for the Russians. He posted tales on the internet of how he liked to have his friend watch the sexual activities between himself and his wife. And more that I can't remember. How much can the prosecution be sure that Hanssen co-operated with them? Enough to let him go with life in prison?

I'm not a death penalty fan. I don't even really think it should have been applied in this case. I'm just a little perplexed, as I'm sure Tom Clancy is, as to how the US went soft enough to even let the general public know, through a public trial, that the FBI had been infiltrated by a double agent for 20 years. What ever happened to the good ol' double tap we always see in the movies?

Don't go talking trash in this house if you can't bring no game.

2002-05-10T11:25:00.000-03:00

Don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing

Saw Spider-Man last night. If you want a fun night out this is it. What looks like a chessy futurization of the spidy suit in the trailers with the addition of the metal, actually doesn't look too bad in the movie and you don't really notice once the movie gets to the suit.

It was good to see the the Macho Man Randy Savage is still getting work, even if he has to go under the name of a retarded wrestler, Bone Saw. He seems to be faring better than Jake "the Snake" who actually is an amateur wrestler fighting for crack and doesn't play one in a major motion picture.

For those who didn't catch it, Eddie Brock (alter ego of Venom) did get a mention in the picture. At the Daily Bugle they make a point of saying that "Eddie" isn't up to getting pictures of the newly appearing Spider-Man. This bodes well for seeing the black suit and Venom himself appearing in future pictures.

Willem Dafoe was an awesome Green Goblin. To bad that when he wears the suit and its just him and Spidy, we can't see any kind of reaction from either character, just the movements of the suit. Word to the wise, if you are making your characters wear masks, let us see something of the face, or make the mask malleable, or only keep it on for short sequences. Otherwise you make us stop identifying with the character on any level. Can't wait for the next two movies, plus Daredevil and the Hulk.

Next up on the movie block: Send in the Clones.

2002-05-09T16:26:00.000-03:00

Trying to take over the world

Well, I think Jean Cretien has done a good job recently of showing just how ineffective out international institutions really are. He's decided to sell out to the energy lobbies here in Canada, who long ago won over the provinces - especially Alberta and now the east coast. Canada is going to bail on Kyoto, and heck besides the EU we were one of the biggest contributors to the Accord. Jean has decided to go begging back to the Europeans, hat in hand, and ask that we get some more credits for being good to the environment through selling clean energy to the states in the form of hydroelectricity and natural gas.

Now this is not a huge environmental rant against the oil and gas industry. I've worked there and they are good people. This is intended to demonstrate how ineffective our international institutions really are.

Kyoto was thought to be one of our better chances at success in this area. No one country could really take the action called for in Kyoto on their own because of the economic disadvantage it would place that country in. Thus a go it alone approach was really not a practical solution to the problem at hand. The Accord solves this problem by requiring everyone to take a hit at the same time, no comparative disadvantage for anyone. Even Clinton and Gore of the US signed on for this approach, but we all know what happened there. On returning home the two realized that they could never have this passed through a Republican congress, so they decided to wait to seek ratification until after the 2000 election. Of course Gore, blazing with energy to the end, lost and we can paraphrase Bush II: The Sequel's comments on Kyoto the same way we can paraphrase just about everything else he says, "Kill, Kill, ...uhh I forget the third one."

It now seems that the energy lobby in Canada has convinced Cretien that the economic ramification of Kyoto are too much for the country to bear, especially next to our neighbour America who has instituted voluntary emission targets.

British Petroleum has, however, demostrated that adaptation to the new lower emissions targets is not only possible, but can also be more effecient and economic. BP has already met its 2008-2012 targets for emissions, but this too must be clarified. Reduction of emissions for Britain is a much easier action than for North American countries. The standard year against which emissions levels will be measured is 1990, which offers a distinct advantage for Britain. The country was in the process of ending its coal industry, which naturally leads to a reduction in emissions, requiring that corporations do less to reach target levels of emissions by 2008-2012.

Kyoto is weak because five years after it was created it is still not ratified. The most influential political power in the world has flatly rejected the Accord on any basis and has crafted their own, weaker protocol on the environment. Industry is creating pressures for the institution to be dropped or drastically changed, this outside the actual meetings to draft and sign the Accord. There are still no teeth to hold countries to the promises they have made without ratification. Boo-urns.

Bring on an effective World Court. Bring on a financial body to regulate a country's insolvency. Acknowledge lofty thinkers who are pressing for bodies to exist to regulate the aspects of an increasingly open world, bodies with teeth who can be truly effective not the hot air generators we have today.

2002-05-08T12:29:00.000-03:00

Hola!

I have returned to the glorious bitter cold reality of the Newfoundland spring (read winter incognito).

Before I return to writing about the important goings on in life (like the recent video release career of Robert Redford), I figured I do some reporting of my time in Cuba. Now don't expect an lengthy chat about the poor, naked children or scary men who lead you into their backyard to sell you "factory made I guarantee it" cigars. I stayed in Varadero, the manufactured tourist-town which is just like what Ontario wants to be: where if you are homeless you can:

a. get a job and home and not be homeless
or
b. go to jail.

I think for a discussion of the trip I'll focus on my many hours spent in the tropical haven of Halifax Airport. While there I discovered my two scores of minor celebrity. The first incident occurred when I noticed the Newfoundland's own provincial debate team - including St. John's City Councillor Keith Coombs' daughter - returning home scarred from the battles of national debate in the province that loves to hate us: Quebec. From them I was greeted with cries of hello and recognition, at last I'd made it. The high office of MUN debating society president has finally paid its dividends.

Next I moved through security, which I'm glad to say swabbed my bag (and on returning a bottle of rum) to make sure I hadn't coated everything in a nifty layer of nitrogyclerene - certainly got my $24 worth in security tax. It was in the upstairs bar, where a double scotch was about $10, but was at least Johnie Walker Black Label, where I next exercised my celebrity standing. Yet another St. John's City Council connection - Dennis "Doc" O'Keefe approached me at our table. He awkwardly tried to place me from the deepest recesses of his mind, was I his former student, had I worked on his campaign, had I been the one to nickname him Doc? No, none of these, he was at a loss. It was then the I released the information of our past association. I had served him on his Sunday runs at the Canadian Tire Gas Bar where he faithfully checked his lotto tickets, lost, and purchased two new ones. His penchant for gambling revealed, O'Keefe slunk away to his repeatedly delayed flight home.

Also to report I once again have fishbelly arms, a situation I et every year to accompany my farmer tan where the tops and sides of my forearms are deeply tanned but the underbelly remains a wintery white. Feel free to use and spread the term fishbelly arms, but remember where it came from baby.

2002-04-28T10:12:00.000-03:00

Tomorrow I'm off for Mr. Castro's resort island paradise of Cuba. For the 2 or 3 of you who read this I'll try and post whilst I'm away so you can see what goes on 60 miles from the coast of Florida.

2002-04-28T10:11:00.000-03:00

The Robert Redford Weekend

This weekend I rented The Last Castle and Spy Game. Now I know who was in Spy Game, but I grabbed Castle on a recommend from someone else and didn't check the plot or the cast. So began my Robert Redford weekend. He is the star of both, and now I can testify that 4.5 hours of him in just two days is way too much.

The Last Castle is a look inside a prison for US Military criminals run by a Colonial Winter who is really a weak man who clings to the power his position affords him and lords it over those around him. He is set up as the obvious evil force in the movie, yet another character with no redeeming qualities. This makes it easy for us to side with Redford's character, General Irwin, who is sent to the prison for disobeying an executive (meaning Presidential, it is pointed out for us) order and gets eight men killed. While the story is a little predictable, and you have to wonder the whole way through the plausibility of a variety of scenarios and realities that exist within the prison. All in all though the film is entertaining and keeps moving. If you haven't had your fill of Americana today then check it out.

Spy Game though is a little slower and a little more subtle. It strips away some of the glamour and shine usually associated with the CIA in US made movies and not just through one-sidedly evil higher-ups. Perhaps the best effect for doing this is showing the characters in the costume of the time-set: the late eighties. Even though Redford still looks 80 in the flashbacks to about 15 years in the past, the characters are a little more believable in this one. Still it moves slower than castle and left me wanting to do other things with about half an hour to go. Give it a look if you want to see some pretty interesting characters explored, but not for an action thriller as it was sometimes billed.

2002-04-26T20:18:00.000-03:00

Check out Canadian artist David Francey. He just won the Juno for best folk artist.

2002-04-26T20:01:00.000-03:00

Nothing Rhymes with Saskatchewan

Just found out that the province who is still struggling to make its way out of the Great Depression is making some changes to its user fees for long term health care facilities. If you utilize these services in Saskatchewan (say if you are quadriplegic) the provincial government wants to be able to take 90% of your net income - not your gross income mind you, just the net of that. So you won't have to sell any of your assets, as the government likes to point out, in order to pay for this service.

This will only apply to people who are working, leaving them with a return of less that welfare, or close on welfare, if they continue to work. Excellent plan. Create a punishment for people who are in long term care for being active and contributing to society through work. Cripple their self esteem. Stomp out their hope. Take away any means they have to purchase the extras in life.

This plan looks like it will only end up costing the government more. A person currently working and living in long term care is now better off to quit and go on welfare. The positions would be virtually equitable. Now the province will have to pay for the care, the welfare cheque and the loss of regular tax revenue, plus the current 50% of net income user fee they already collect.

There is a great song by a Canadian comedy troop called 'Nothing Rhymes with Saskatchewan' where they discover a rhyming word or pharse at the end which does in fact rhyme with the forementioned province. If you can think of a rhyming word, phrase or the artist who sings the tune, let me know.

2002-04-25T09:05:00.000-03:00

Anti-Trust

Yesterday the world welcomed a new online travel service provided by Air Canada, Destina.ca. This amidst cries from senior executives at the "airline" that they don't want their 80% market share, and that the removal of travel agency commissions was not a move to dominate another aspect of the industry in Canada through provision of cheaper online reservations.

This is not all bad. For me anyway. In the short run it will probably mean cheaper fairs, at least until market domination of the reservation/bookings sector is complete. Plus they are offering some pretty sweet deals on extra AeroPlan points if you use their service. Again a bonus. But this probably will pale in comparison to the discounted student fares I can get from my friendly neighbourhood Travel Cuts, about the only good this to ever come out of the CFS (Canadian Federation of Students).

I decided that the site may be worth a perusal, to see mostly what early seatsales were being offered. The one that caught my eye the most was the deal to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I can imagine that flights out of there to Canada must be clogged with ScotiaBank execs fleeing the crowds after their infrastructure collapsed, but flights in? Probably mostly empty.

The site says the Argentina will conjure up only two images for you: a passionate soccer game or a passionate tango. To me those are the furthest associations with what was only a year ago billed by Canadian federal trade institutions as a safe haven for free-trade in a rocky South America. Today I would think of recent political history that would read more like a flipbook of changing personalities than a solid novel. It is in a second link where A description of the country's tourist potential comes down to, "we'd think twice about going."

Sometimes I wish we had competition laws with teeth like the American anti-trust laws, though that is not to say they are perfect regulators of a fair and free economic system. With out airline industry especially there needs to be some kind of action. Allow some greater competition, force Air Canada to back off on the discount provider side of things and let airlines like WestJet proliferate in their niche. Instead Air Canada is allowed to plow more and more money into more and more failing business units that serve to drive smaller niche competitors under or severely limit their activities. All this and lose $1.25 billion last year - a winner in all respects.

2002-04-24T09:36:00.000-03:00

Canada Book Day

Well another Canada Book Day has come and gone, probably unnoticed by most, except for those who spent the last week leaning into their radio, listening to five Canadian personalities deciding which book Canadians should read this spring. Canada Reads was a monumental effort by the CBC to promote reading and national unity by having us all read a book prescribed by the knowledgeable few.

Some interesting things came out of this. First the panelists: former prime minister and first female king of the Hill, Kim Campbell, Barenaked Ladies (BNL) lead singer Steven Page, and three others no one will have ever heard of and are just about as memorable. I learned interesting things about Kim Campbell, someone I'd had only passing knowledge of beforehand. She is spitey, manipulative, a sore-loser, a whiner, and someone who must relate every daily happening to the shifting political nature of the country. She especially has a fondness of relating things to the political state of affairs in her heyday - the Mulroney area plus the early nineties - after which Canada forgot about Kim.

Steven Page is a man I have much respect for. He is a talented song writer and performer. He is the frontman, along with Ed of perhaps the greatest Canadian geek-rock band ever. His music has spilled from my walkman, then discman, and stereo speakers and headphones since about the time when Kim dove off the political spectrum. I've liked them from the start, but the music mostly, I know virtually nothing of the lads as people. I was not entirely suprised when listening to Steve to be led to believe he hadn't read any of the books in the competition, except perhaps his own. Even then the impression was that he read it in a desperate state after getting ripped in the Globe and Mail for his seeming lack of knowledge of his choice, Michael Andaatje's In the Skin of a Lion. Maybe the other case is that Steve, like me, has a hard time talking books in the "deftly crafted, immaculately themed" way that the CBC likes to.

In any event, Steve's choice came out the winner, although in the end it was probably a pretty easy choice for the panelists as the only other book remaining of the five originally brought to the table was a poetic narrative by George Elliot Clarke called Whylah Falls. A book of poetry is probably not the best way to try and capture a nation's attention and passion for literature of any genre.

Andaatje (an-dat-chee), while hard to spell, is probably a good choice. His is a name familiar to Canadians through the success of his other novels: The English Patient and Anil's Ghost (my current read). He is also a prolific poet, so an introduction to his fiction may in turn direct people in the way of poetry and unleash a new appreciation of that art in this country. This might just be the best possible outcome from this panel.

2002-04-23T10:32:00.000-03:00

Mobilizing for Capitalism

My faith in the capitalist system was briefly shaken today when I learned the lengths to which America will take the economic system. In Minnesota, 7 year old Steven Olson (already shrugging off the old worldish "ph" version of the name) was patented a motion he performs on a swingset with the help of his dad - a St. Paul patent lawyer. The motion, which involves pulling sideways on the chain to create a circular-ovalish motion, instead of the standard good ol' back and forth has already sold to one buyer, a neighboring friend whose dad is a - you guessed it - patent lawyer. Optional in the swing is the addition of a Tarzan-like cry, although I'm not sure if that one has been cleared copyright laws yet, though judging by the number of Tarzan movies the copyright's probably not been renewed on that one.

Its striking what is becoming commodified in America. Now motion, actual movement, is saleable.

Well, in junior high I claimed the entire english language as mine, declared the copyright in my name - with witnesses. I pledged to charge only ten cents a word. Now its time to pay up. Mind you I did not capture everything. The words "quackulator" and "guesstimate", along with all numbers go to an esteemed colleague of mine best known as Lil' Phil. So the use of these may be subtracted from your bill and sent to his account at a rate of 15 cents per usage.

American readers have no fear, this is not real money we are talking about here, but Canadian dollars. Your best bet is just to raid your old Monopoly games, where I assume Steven Olson got his 7-years of intensive training in capitalism, and send the multicoloured-greenbacks my way.

2002-04-22T16:21:00.000-03:00

The inaugural message to the masses:

Last night I listened to Night Line on my way home, as is my custom on Sunday evenings when CBC decides to give me Sound Advice about classical music. There I heard for the first time some information that made some utterly bizarre sense to me. Amongst the ramblings of people who are clearly either very lonely, too self-important, or whose elevator can't quite make it to the top anymore I heard that an old prof would be taking up the reins for the Canadian Alliance in an upcoming federal by-election.

I've refrained from commenting on Gary Hartle before out of the respect we're supposed to dredge up for our profs, and maybe also out of fear of academic reprisals. Now that he has stepped into the public sphere Gary warrants a little due diligence. While Beaton Tulk may not be everyones idea of a model politician - in a noble idyllic sense, not a cynical, ironic, post-modernistic sense - he is at least to some degree competent.

Gary Hartle was to education, as a 20lbs sledge hammer is to a newly ripened water-melon. That is to say he is a large deterrent to further growth.

The Canadian Alliance and Gary Hartle are a perfect match though, to explain a little how this all makes sense. Both are a mess, and have a lot of trouble knowing exactly where it is they are going. Neither is able to muster anything that can even come close to being called effective.

If Gary Hartle is able to win even a by-election, or even manage to come up with a respectable showing in the final tallies (more the 1 or 2%) I will hereby lose all faith in the democratic systems of Canada. They say the slow ones are the first to go down when the herd gets ambushed, but some how the wolves missed Gary.

In the future hopefully this will be a little more light hearted.